A Moustache in Japan

Well, goodbye.  I am back in America and speaking in English is weird.  There are also fewer mountains here.

I will probably keep this travel log here, but all hidden-like in that I will no longer link to it.  I will present you with my final form, taken at a party the day before I left.

With about an amazing 15 posts down, we draw to a close.  My moustache is drooping, in need of some wax, and it is ready to return.  I have to comply with its wishes.  Now I am going talk about the best things Japan has versus America, and then vice versa.

Japan Is Better Than America Because:

1) It has bicycle locks on the back of every bike.  They go through your wheels and they are ubiquitous and you can never forget to lock your bike because they use keys and it’s the easiest thing and I need to figure out a way to end this sentence before I get to

2) Vending machines are everywhere, and they are so convenient.  Sure, they are a little expensive, but no one really cares because the drinks are so fun.

3) There are no tips in this place.  That is amazing.  You can be a jerk to waitresses all day, and I full take advantage of this fact.

4) Convenient stores are almost as prevalent as vending machines, and they have microwaves to warm up things you buy.  Also they have the “American Dog” which is a corndog.

5) The Japanese LOVE moustaches.  It is unexpected, but I guess since mine is so radical (in the late 80s, early 90s terminology), not that unexpected.

6) Their restaurants always change their menus, nearly monthly.  This little dog comic up here is for the month where MOS Burger (Moutain Ocean Sky Burger (!?)) went through their  chili-phase.  Right now they are in Mushroom Month.

7) There are parks right in the middle of huge cities.  This is Tokyo’s main goverment area, and there is a little garden thing here.  This never happens in America, but should.

And finally) This pink guy.

America Is Better Than Japan Because:

1) Where the Japan have vending machines, America has garbage cans and water fountains.  The Japanese are tricky creatures that force you to use vending machines because there is no other choice.

2) Taco Bell does not exist here, and I had to find other means of laxatives.

3) They do not like heat in their houses if they can help it.  This bothers me as my feet feel like frostbite personified.

4) Freedom.  Really.  This thing is actually pretty cool.

Anyway, I am going home and will probably never update again.  Maybe once or twice more after culture shock.  Thanks for staying with me; I will leave you with the best pictures I have at my disposal.

So I had to basically do a Japanese scavenger hunt today.  It maybe improved my Japanese?  I don’t have pictures but here’s the story.  Wait, actually, I do have pictures, but they are unrelated.

So I as I am going to Tokyo this week, I thought I would buy a ticket to the famous Studio Ghibli museum, home to all worthwhile anime.  However, while riding home, I apparently lost my ticket (my moustache was in an angry mood and used its telekinesis is my guess) and didn’t realize ’til very late.  I decided to look for it tomorrow (today).

So in the morning, I found a dirtied old ticket that looked like a dirtier version of mine, except what little Japanese I could read didn’t really say “Admit One” so I went to the store I had bought it at and double-checked.  Apparently, I had lost half of what I was supposed to have, and the half I had was the half that didn’t matter.  But, luckily, one of the clerks said “Oh you dropped it by the elevator building, right?” and I had, so she told me something about the police, which sounded to me like the police found it and have it.  I was overjoyed so I ventured to the police station.

Well, they don’t speak English in the police station, so whenever the police I was talking to got lost, he whipped out a dry-erase board and started drawing pictures or letting me write it in English (usually Japanese students learn how to read but not speak or understand.) It turned out they did not have the ticket, but apparently someone had found it and come in to Lawson’s, and then proceeded to say they were going to hand it over to the police later.  Well, I am leaving in two days, and who knows what “later” means in Japanese, so I just bought another ticket.  But I can officially say I have been inside a police station now, which wasn’t really a goal but I can pretend.

I was in a ninja tournament a long long time ago, and have decided to talk about it.  I did not place, but it was immensely fun, and I got katana-shaped letter openers as a consolation prize.  My ninja name was “Kuchi-hige,” the Japanese word for moustache.

These are my ninja garments.  As you can see, they are tailored such that there is a giant tear in the side where my boxers stick out.  This is supposed to happen.

This, not so much.  I kind of tore my pants crawling up a wall but I didn’t lose hope. Basically there were five events; obstacle course (pants broke, got new pants), jump contest (didn’t make the inital jump), the shuriken toss (I did surprisingly well at this), the running-across-water (I fell and got dirty), and finally, the Water Spider (I ripped my pants again, got dirtier, and ended up looking like the picture below.  It was a great time.

I wish I could format these posts better.

Drink of the Day! Special Edition

We have finally reached the most important part of the day, the best drink.  Here it is, in all it’s glory: Match Match.

Technically it’s just called “Match” but the bottle says otherwise, plus it just flows better as double.  This drink has all sorts of ions and things (as advertised on the wrapper) that don’t really mean anything to mean except a false pretense unto which purchase mass quantities.

Let me tell you what Match Match tastes like: Liquid Smarties.  That is all.  Gone are the negative chalky qualities, and all that is left is pure delicious ecstacy.  Sadly, it is not that easy to find (naturally, it must be the most popular thing), but if I could, I would drink it solely.

8/8

Other Drinks!

There are two more drinks I wish to discuss.

Bikkle is not only a scary name but a scary color so I was very hesitant, but as I made it a goal to drink something new at every opportunity, I allowed myself to try it.

I liked it!  It tastes like Orange Creamsicle in a can, but the color is still too weird for it to be perfect.

7/8

Dekavita C boasts of health but again, is sketchy with its ridges and brownness.  Because my internet refuses to post this, I have had to type Dekavita C’s information three times.  Therefore, it no longer gets any explanation and a point lower.

6/8

Moustache you later.

This is the post where I will dump any remaining pictures I have in my desktop folder and talk about anything I can remember.

First of all, this picture is a sewer cover in Osaka.  Self-explanatory, maybe?

Today, our Japanese class spent a good hour practicing our “Japanese skills” with some random middle-aged folks.  I had an interesting conversation with one man in particular, who was practicing his English as well, and he had written this down to present to us.  He are excerpts.

“I retired early, about three years ago.  But, since I retired early, I don’t get benefits, so I don’t really have that much money.  Because of this, I do not eat breakfast.  I am very hungry. [...] My son is a musician and songwriter, and he wants to be famous.  I don’t think he’s very good, though. [...] I play tennis almost every day.  I don’t play Monday or Saturday.  Monday is my holiday.  [Insert huge belly laugh here.] After tennis, I work out and eat lunch.  With beer!”

He was a lively dude.

Drink of the Day!

I know it has been a while since I did these, but the truth is, a few weeks ago I found the perfect drink.  However, it belongs in another post that I have yet to get to.  But, this drink is very old as well.  It is called “Qoo,” and pronounced “Coo.”  It is basically apple juice (there is an “orange” variety too) but it becomes instantly more delicious because of the adorable otter-like creature drinking its own liquid.

6/8

This is the crew I met in Osaka when I went to see Radiohead.  They were from all over - Belgium, Korea, Australia, The Philippines, France, Norway, Japan even.  We all met in a bar and went together, and crazily, the first person I asked if he was going to Radiohead was, in fact, not aware of anyone meeting in that bar.  He just happened to be in the perfect place at the perfect time.  Oh, also there was a guy from Greece who quit his job a year ago and has just been traveling.  I have no idea where he gets the money, but unrelatedly I think I lost a few hundred dollars that night.

This is a store I saw in Hiroshima.  I am kinda speechless.  The concept of the alphabet having its own alphabet confuses me too greatly.  Notice one is clearly dominant with its cursive and upper-caseness.

This is all for Odds + Ends (Volume I) but I will probably be back with exciting pictures and details of this place across the ocean.

I am currently in a Starbucks in Hiroshima waiting for the Night Bus (different than Harry Potter’s) to take me back to my humble city of Hikone.  I have time to finally write so I am mooching internet and here we go.

First of all, it seems every city I go to has a new form of main transportation - Osaka uses the subway, Kyoto uses buses, and Hikone uses bikes.  Hiroshima uses mainly trams.  I am having trouble thinking of the next big city’s favored vehicle, and I can only come up with rickshaws.  But then I forgot that happened to be Miyajima’s.

They also used ropeways.

Miyajima also has a whole bunch of deer just runnin’ around.  I tried to lure them with my mango ice cream, but to no avail.

Also, Mijajima has that famous torii (I forget the English word for “torii” and also frequently for “11th Month” (November, right?)) that you have probably seen everywhere without realizing it has been conquered by my moustache.

That’s about it for Miyajima.  Hiroshima pictures are yet to be uploaded.  I will leave you with the most evil horse in Japan.  I have dubbed him the “Neigh-Slayer.”

I had Pepsi White yesterday, the new Yogurt Pepsi drink. It didn’t really taste like yogurt, but, like practically every drink here, tasted like a liquid version of some solid food I am used to.  It was pretty good, but I cannot yet place it.  I will drink more to let you know what it turns out to be.  I wonder if this is coming out in America, too?

I forgot to mention that I am beginning my homestay tomorrow.  I will have even less internet access than usual, but I will try to post as sporadically as possible.

By the way, this is the founder of my city.  I don’t even know his name but he is so hardcore.  I hear he would just tilt his head into the troops and shish-ka-bob his enemies.

However, it being Japan and all, his image has turned from fierce warrior to, what else, but furry mascot.

That’s all for now.

First!  I went to Osaka this past Wednesday and saw Radiohead!  They are as good as you would think.  It was a different atmosphere because first of all, marijuana is highly illegal, so there is not as much as there would normally be at most concerts, and second of all, everyone was Japanese.  Apparently “dancing” is pretty restricted to nodding and tapping feet.  It was still a great time, though.

Also, the other day, we had our first earthquake!  At first, I thought maybe a huge pack of schoolgirls (We had had them visit earlier.) was running on the roof before we understood what happened.  It lasted about 5 seconds, and I made sure during that time to properly hide underneath a table with my helmet.

Now it is time for:

Japan Has the Best Food: SUPER DELUXE EDITION

I have eaten all of these except the Caffe Latte Ritz Bits, which seemed just like too much.  Hold your mouse over the pictures to read their descriptions.